Top 5 mistakes couples make when getting married in Roanoke
I remember meeting a couple back in December of last year while I was eating dinner at Panera bread, they were interested in booking Silver Hearth Lodge for the reception portion of their wedding day.
We chatted about 15 minutes and then I asked where they were getting married at.
Well, the couple hadn’t found a place to have the ceremony (they wanted to get married in a church) and I stopped them right then and there.
I said they shouldn’t book anyone until they have a wedding date, which REALLY means you need to book a wedding venue or church.
The two are synonymous to each other.
They were putting the cart before the horse by scoping our places to have the reception, luckily, I was able to get them to tour the property about 3 weeks later and once they did, they decided to have the entire wedding here at the property.
And that’s one of the common mistakes couples make when planning their wedding.
In fact, I’ve seen many mistakes couples make in my wedding career and today I want to share with you about 5 of the most common ones that I’ve seen and share with you how you can correct them before it becomes a major mistake.
Messing Up Your Marriage License in Virginia
So, there I was, in 2013 up on the mountain top wedding venue.
The couple had everything lined up, our venue, the vendors, the day was perfect and the guests were being seated in the Domed Rot Iron Gazebo.
Then, I overheard the officiant say the marriage license was 61 days old.
Well, in Virginia, a marriage license is ONLY valid for 60 days.
The couple went and filled out the marriage forms at the courthouse 1 day longer than it was valid for and you know what, the entire day was completely for show.
The couple had to wind up going back to the courthouse first thing Monday morning to get another license, go back to the church and have the bishop meet them there and do the ceremony over and then do the paperwork.
Yes, this DOES happen from time to time, so make sure that the wedding is within the 60 day window of getting the packet from the courthouse, otherwise, you’ll have to get ‘re-married’ legally speaking.
Micro-Managing the Vendors
Back in 2012, we did a wedding in the fall with roughly 75 guests.
I met the other wedding vendors as they started to make their way to the venue and just as each one came onto the property, the bride started telling of them how to do their jobs.
Well, it turns out the bride once worked in broadcasting and she thought she could just start bossing vendors around as if they were children trying to clean a room.
This didn’t go very well, in fact, it slowed the timeline down because vendors were trying to do their job and also do what the bride wanted too, although they already had a game plan ahead of time.
This created a bottle neck of sorts and the hour that normally goes in-between the end of the ceremony and the start of the reception took almost two hours.
If you want wedding vendors to go a little above and beyond, thats one thing, but micro-managing everything vendors do at the wedding will create stress, make everyone unhappy and it will ruin your wedding timeline because of the added work vendors will be doing.
Meeting with vendors beforehand and having a complete understanding of what they do and what you’d like is important, that way when they arrive at the wedding, they will know what needs to be done in a timely manner.
Give vendors some creative freedom and you focus on enjoying the day.
If they’re good at what they do, you won’t have to worry about the video or the images.
Skimming Over Wedding Contracts
This happens more often than you’d think, you really like a vendors services, pricing and what they have to offer.
So, you skim over the contract, fill it out, sign it and return it.
Then after the wedding you’re asking about a certain thing, maybe it’s special coverage from a photographer that you wanted or leftovers from a catering company, maybe you wanted the DJ to MC the reception but they didn’t, whatever you’re asking about- it wasn’t included it in the contract.
Well, that happens to just about every vendor in the wedding business. It’s not that they didn’t do their jobs, it’s that they did them according to the contract.
My advice make sure you look over them before signing them and ask questions about anything in them.
A good wedding vendor should be able to easily explain why verbiage is in there and what it means. If there is something that doesn’t appeal to you in the contract, ask for it to be re-written or omitted if you don’t understand it.
You’ll find that most wedding contracts are standard, protecting both you and the wedding vendor. I suggest that you read over them in fine detail, take your time and make sure you understand what your signing too.
Some Couples DON'T Read Contracts
The RSVP Problem
So, you have a list of people you want to invite to the wedding and you send out an RSVP, awesome, one less thing to do!
BUT, after you sent them out, you forgot to have verbiage about bringing a plus one person and that creates an issue.
Suddenly, your 100-person guest list becomes 145 and that means 45% people to feed, which means MORE money to fork out.
I’ve had a handful of wedding’s where the bride didn’t know a lot of her own guests, in fact I remember having one wedding where there was a plated dinner for 87 wedding guests but there were 106 guests.
Yeah, that creates an issue.
Make sure that you have a rule on your RSVP about bringing a plus one, it’s very important. Normally, RSVP’s will be a given out assuming it’s a couple, but if you’re buying food for X amount of people, make sure it’s X amount of people, that way you don’t overspend or be surprised at your wedding.
Bridal Party and Food
It’s your wedding day and you’re stressed out thinking about making the day go perfectly, you have jitters and your overthinking things.
Well one thing that I’ve noticed in the bridal suite (or place where your getting ready) is that those with a couple of food trays with snacks and beverages tend to do a lot better with stress than couples that don’t offer anything.
Listen, it’s a BIG day and that goes for your bridal party too.
Feed them.
It’s a common mistake that couples make and overlook. Run down to the local Kroger or grocery store and buy a couple of cheese trays, fruit and veggie rays and get some bubbly.
You don’t need to purchase a big meal but having some nibbles on hand will clam your nerves and make you feel better if you have something on your stomach.
I highly suggest spending a little bit on some snacks during the pre-wedding for both sides of the bridal party.
Prep Time
Just about every wedding season in our region, March-October, I have at least one couple that thinks it only take an hour to get ready before the wedding day.
Well, that’s not the reality of things.
First, it makes it extremely hard for people like me to capture what’s going on because of the time crunch.
Then you have make-up artists that need a good amount of time, hair stylist, the photographer, of course the wedding party needs to prep and getting the venue together is a huge task that often takes several hours too.
Let’s just say an hour to get ready is asking for big trouble.
My professional advice, you need a good 3-4 hours before the wedding to prep for the day.
That sounds like a lot but truth be told with so many things going on, that’s about the right amount of time. Don’t stress it and allow the time to get everything done right.
The longer you have to prep, the better the wedding day will go for you and everyone else around you too.
